12 Emoticons for the Advanced Writer

Have you ever been overcome with an emotion but unable to find the right emoticon to express yourself?  The answer is yes.  And I'm going to help you.

*:0 = "MY FACE IS ON FIRE!!!!"

!,! =  "Hi.  I am a rabbit"

% = "I feel like I am a mosquito looking directly at you."

|:( = "I am displeased with my unibrow."

<:( = "Pointy hats make me sad."

>:( = "Now my hat is upside-down and I don't feel any better about it."

(::::) = "I feel like I am the underside of a pregnant dog."

:0& = "I LOVE PRETZELS!!!! NOM! NOM! NOM!"

:*( = "You make me cry sparkly tears."

{:| = "I am a Frenchman."

Q:| = "I'm Davy fucking Crockett."

:$ = "I am trying to look unimpressed, but someone drew a squiggly mouth over my real mouth and this must be terribly confusing for you.  I am sorry."